We all have emotions. We deal with them every day, and sometimes they may get the better of us. Emotions are complex but I want to explore what we may experience after the emotional blow-up. I’ve been recently hearing about emotional hangovers, and I want to dive into that. I am especially emotional, and that can pair with high sensitivity and empathy. So, I want to breakdown how we can recover from that. Emotional hangovers are VERY real, and we can find ways to navigate that.
You are not your emotions. You are not your emotions. You are not your emotions. We experience a full range of emotions; some we don’t know how to comprehend. But the first point I want to make is that you are not your emotions and your emotions do not define you. When I say this, I mean that emotions are feelings, and those feelings are relative to traumatic events that have occurred in your lifetime. We can take ownership of those feelings (i.e., I am feeling happy, I am feeling depressed), but we are not what we feel. So, I want to try to change the narrative about that first.
This isn’t an attempt to tell anyone that they aren’t allowed to feel or have emotions. I just want to convey that they don’t have to take over our lives. However, this is all easier said than done. I grapple with handling my emotions daily, but I know that there are ways that we all can come out better than this. So, after we’ve cried, screamed, and sulked, what do we do with that adrenal energy? In that moment of defending ourselves against the “attack,” we build this fight or flight response. We cultivate masses of energy to protect ourselves, but we never use it. In turn, we’re left with an emotional hangover.
You know we have that hangover after turning up. Drink after drink. Shot after shot. Emotional hangovers are the same way. After a huge experience emotionally, we can wake up moody and overall drained. Our intense emotions can follow us even after the experience and can leave us feeling like we threw 8 shots back the night before. My goal going into this is to curb triggers and move on without carrying emotional baggage elsewhere.
I’m triggered like Jhené, and I don’t think I need to go any further than that. But with that realization I also know that I can carry that energy and baggage into my other experiences. I simply do not want to do that anymore. This isn’t the ultimate “Master Your Emotions,” guide, but it’s a step in the right direction. If we learn to leave emotions that are relative to trauma in the past, then we can lead better lives for ourselves moving forward.
The first tip I can give is to seek support. Ask for help! Be vulnerable! Talking to others (that you can trust) and having a support system to deal with trauma and emotions is vital for moving forward. Family and friends can be important during this time and can lend an ear or advice when you are ready to ask for help. Therapists and other professionals are useful, too. Various points of view and advice can allow for new perspectives. Though, I do know that seeking help (especially as a black woman) comes with its challenges.
The next tip is trying to have a balanced meal. I know as soon as I get emotional, I can shut down. I can become anxious, withdrawn, and sometimes have overall feelings of depression. So, when I shut down, I’m looking for “comfort” food which isn’t always the best for me. Having a balanced meal means having complex carbs, vegetables, and lean protein. But food is fuel. I’ve been trying to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my diet recently. That small switch has been beneficial for my well-being but mainly my physical energy. Eating well during emotional times can aid in shift your mood from that sadness becoming your personality to just a temporary emotion.
My third tip is to exercise. There are multiple studies about exercise benefitting mental health. Even if it’s light or moderate get up and try to get active for you. From experience, a lack of activity during this time only makes things worse (for me). Not only am I living in this emotion mentally, but I am also getting stagnant in that emotional physically. It can snowball into being an attitude, a personality, and eventually a belief in your life. Let’s just nip that in the bud here. We can just get up and move. Dance, go for a walk, do yoga, go lift; basically, do what is going to make you feel good and help you shake the funk.
My last tip is to rest and mediate. Mindfulness is a healthy emotional escapism tool. It is something that I work towards every day. If I can mentally give myself a minute or fifteen to tap into myself, recenter my focus, and sit with my feelings I can come out better. This is a method that allows you to get out of your mind and your body and focus on being tranquil. Guided meditations are accessible through Apple podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube. Furthermore, rest when you feel you need to. When you’ve felt like you’ve exhausted your options rest to recalibrate. Sometimes sleeping on it is good for you.
Bonus tip: be creative. We can channel our intense emotions into being playful and lighthearted through creativity. We can draw, paint, dance, write etc. My go-to is crocheting. As soon as I am feeling negatively, I start a new project (or finish up an old one) and channel that emotion into finishing my work. At this current moment I am feeling emotionally hungover. I am going through the motions of my personal life and facing different struggles every day. This is my means of being creative. I can say that taking this time out to write and create a resource has helped me out of this funk has been beneficial to me.
Dealing with trauma is emotionally taxing. The emotional hangover thereafter is worse than NYS 8.875% sales tax. Sometimes the combination of them can take so much from you that you feel like you need to shut down. But there are so many things you can DO FOR YOU to lead a better life. I hope that this is a useful tool that promotes emotional and mental well-being. The interest in learning more is the first step but a huge step in being well and being a better you. You’re too fine to be in a funk.
Citations:
Dotinga, R. (2016, December 26). 'emotional hangover' is real. WebMD. Retrieved September 18, 2022, from https://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20161226/emotional-hangover-is-real-and-affects-future-experiences-study
www.rtor.org, G. A. for. (2020, April 15). Eight strategies to cure emotional hangovers. Resources To Recover. Retrieved September 18, 2022, from https://www.rtor.org/2020/04/10/eight-strategies-to-cure-emotional-hangovers/